To those of you who feel you have to be perfect...

There was only ONE perfect person who ever walked on this earth. And you know what?  He thinks you are pretty great, because he was willing to die for you. Not only that, but he was willing to go through everything that you will ever go through that is hard and painful, because he thinks you are worth it. You.

I know that he still would have died for you if you were the only person on this planet. He loves you that much, and thinks that highly of you.

So stop expecting perfection in yourself or others and realize that the purpose of this life is to learn and grow. We are all learning together. This is our first time living, so really, nobody knows what they are doing. I want to try harder to be patient with myself and others.

Lesson in the lesson

Today in my Methods of Teaching Math class we were talking about how the best way to teach math and other subjects is through an inquiry method. This is essentially asking questions that push students to learn the concepts without you telling them exactly what they have to do to solve a math problem. This way is known to be effective because students have a much more concrete knowledge when they have to work for it and when it comes from inside them(from knowledge they already have). This helps them develop reasoning skills that help them solve problems in the future.

Well, as I was sitting there, I realized that this is how the Lord works with us. He is not going to tell us all the steps to solve our problems because that would be robbing us of an essential experience that will solidify the knowledge we gain that will help us solve problems in the future. He wants us to progress, not just stay in the same spot because we know that he will just tell us exactly what we need to do the next time we need help.

We sit here and say. "Where are you, God?", or "Why won't you help me? Did I do something wrong?" No, he has not left us alone. He is there putting small things in our path(questions if you will) that guide us to the right answer.

As a teacher, I would absolutely love to tell my students exactly what they need to do to solve every problem/homework assignment. I would love  to sit with each of them and help them write their papers so that they get a good grade and do the quality of work that I am capable of. This would rob them of their learning. As soon as I let them be, they would drown. They would realize they couldn't accomplish anything and that it was only me doing the work.

I believe that it is the same way with our relationship with God. He loves us perfectly. He wants so badly to sit with us and help us do our "homework" the way that He is able to do it. This would ultimately handicap us when it is our turn to be Gods and Goddesses. He wants us to progress with knowledge that sticks because of  the work we have done to make it stick.

So don't give up. Keep trying. Fail as many times as you can because every time you fail, you have a chance to show the Lord that you are willing to endure to the end. All he wants is for us to get up every time we fall, and try again. His hand is there. He is sitting and asking the right questions to guide us to Him.

Choices choices choices.....

I could either be nervous for school and the upcoming semester, or I could be excited to learn new things through the challenges ahead.

I choose to look forward in excitement and take it a day at a time!

I could either stress over things I can't control or I could let it go and shift my focus to those things that I can control.

I am going to focus on what I can do right now to be happy.

I could take counsel from my fears, or I could take counsel from the Lord through prayer and scripture study.

I think I would rather be the Lords student and attend his class, not Satan's.

Take that! Thank goodness for agency.

What is the truth?

A book I recently read called "Through His Eyes" taught me a lot about overcoming my fears. When I am fearful, it is usually because I have been focusing on things that are half truths or even flat out lies.
Here are some examples:

Sometimes I am afraid that when people get to know me!they will not like me.
I am afraid to drive long distances because I am afraid of getting in an accident.
I am afraid of the death of a loved one.

These are all fears of mine because there is a half truth or a lie that I tell myself without even knowing it. While I have a hard time finding out what that lie is, I have found it helpful to find an eternal truth in all of these instances that will help me to find peace.

For the first one I remember that God loves me perfectly and he knows me the most out of anybody.
For my fear of car accidents, I think about the truth that God has helped me so far to get through anything, so he would help me get through a car accident if need be.
Finally I remember that we are on an eternal plan here. It doesn't end in this life. I will be with my loved ones forever, and if they leave this life, it just means that the Lord has work for them to do elsewhere.

Finding truth through the gospel of Jesus Christ, helps me to overcome The fears that this world brings. This video illustrates the point I am trying to make.

When you tell yourself to go to bed a million times....

...you spend an hour playing your guitar, even though you played it a lot already today.

Here is the result. Far Away by Ingrid Michaelson

Learning a cool song counts for something right?

Don't judge me because my guitar skills are a little on the wimpy side.

Looking on the heart

Some of our biggest interpersonal problems could be solved if we could just take the time to understand each other. I once heard that if we could know the entire story of somebody's life, we would never have any reason to judge that person, and we would just love them.

1 Samuel 16:7 says: "The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart"

Because God knows everyone perfectly, he can love everyone perfectly. As human beings, we don't know even our closest friends or family members perfectly. Sometimes this is because we don't open up what is lodged deep in our hearts to other people, and other times it is because we don't take the time to listen and find the things in the hearts of those around us. In other words, we look on the outward appearance.

I hope Katie(my sister) doesn't mind if I share this, but when I was home I went to the mall with Katie. She was walking in front of me instead of beside me, and she probably didn't even notice, but for some reason, I was bothered. I started to get frustrated with her, and then I realized that all I needed to do was to ask her to walk next to me. I did, and instantly she walked next to me and the problem was solved and I was happy.

Sometimes all it takes is realizing that we are expecting people to read our minds, and we haven't even communicated our needs and desires to them.

Other times it is because we haven't taken the time to get to know the persons heart. If we were able to look on the heart as the Lord does, we would understand the things we perceive as negative behaviors of those around us.

I realize that we will never be able to truly see the hearts of those around us in this life, but that is when we pray for charity. The Lord can see for us. He will grant us the perfect love that that person deserves and most often so desperately needs.

2013. On my way.

My favorite thing about new years is the excitement about Chang and adventure. When I look back on 2012, I can see that I really have come a long way with the help of the Lord.

 I accomplished many firsts. -blog, surgery, teaching experience, and some other things that are to embarrassing to mention in my blog...okay I got my first kiss this year.

I learned that I am a teacher! It is a marvelous gift that is as natural as breathing. How am I so blessed?

I learned a lot about who I am. I have truly learned to pray, rely on the atonement, and reach out to my savior especially in times of need.

I learned how to rely on eternal truths like the fact that I am a child of God. This has helped me come to a new place as far as my self-confidence goes-- a place I could not get to without my Savior.

I learned to recognize the Holy Ghost in my life, and how the Lord speaks to me personally.

I learned so much about my relationships with other people.

2012 has brought me a lot of good through the good times and the hard times.

To you, year 2013, I say, bring it on!! I am so excited and grateful for another year of lessons!

When I think of this next year, I think of this video

"Tell everybody i'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes i'm on my way
And theres no where else i'd rather be

Tell everybody i'm on my way
And i'm loving every step i take
With the sun beating down, yes i'm on my way
And i can't keep this smile off my face"

I hope you all take the time to reflect on how far you have come and I wish you good luck in 2013.